


heart like split divide

by junhoism



Series: take care.mp3 [1]
Category: Produce 101 (TV), Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Rich Kids, Angst, M/M, Recovery, full list of trigger warnings can be found in ending note, part of a bigger au idk when ill work on, well jinyoung is rich
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-31
Updated: 2017-12-31
Packaged: 2019-02-24 04:05:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13205562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/junhoism/pseuds/junhoism
Summary: Jihoon thinks back to the week before, when Woojin had asked him a question, one that had him holding his breath. Woojin’s eyes were red-rimmed and voice gravelly from crying. “You would know, Ji. Tell me, if it breaks, does it heal?”Uncharacteristically, Jihoon had answered something completely different. He had thought back to Jinyoung, who had always welcomed him with a warm gaze and open arms. He thought back to a boy who was forced to grow up into a man because he wanted to take care of Jihoon.“Slowly. It does."





	heart like split divide

**Author's Note:**

> PLS CHECK END NOTES FOR TRIGGER WARNINGS! 
> 
> jihoon's outfit: [here](https://twitter.com/HOONIEPALETTE/status/911150170120773632)  
> jinyoung's outfit: [here](https://twitter.com/babywolf_0510/status/9365376612163)

“Here,” Jinyoung tosses a black garment bag onto the bed. Jihoon looks up at quizzically, but unzips the bag slowly. His eyes are met with a black tuxedo, and he looks at Jinyoung again. 

“What’s this for?” Jihoon asks. His eyes are searching, and Jinyoung lets it happen. He doesn't mind. 

“Haven't I told you?” Jinyoung takes a seat on the edge of the bed, running his fingers over the material of the suit. “My dad is throwing a revamp party. I’m asked to be there. Naturally, you’re going to be my plus one.” 

Jihoon looks a little hesitant, mouth slightly agape as he considers what Jinyoung just said. “You’ll go… right?” Jinyoung prods, but his voice is soft. “I mean, it’s a chance for you to find _him_.” 

“What do you mean?” Jihoon says, acting nonchalant. Jinyoung knows, though, that this is a front. The mention of the unnamed him still rattles him. “Of course I’m going to be there. My best friend is asking me to go. That’s reason enough.” 

Jinyoung beams, finally feeling adequate enough for Jihoon. This was the beginning of a lion, he thinks, this is where I provide for Jihoon even more than that guy did. “Aren’t you still an intern, though? Are interns usually invited to grand parties like this?” Jihoon switches the subject, turning all his attention to Jinyoung again. 

“No… I’ll be there as his son,” Jinyoung enunciates slowly, as if he was still processing the words. Jihoon throws his arms around Jinyoung’s neck in glee, cheering triumphantly. Jinyoung laughs, arms coming around to hold Jihoon’s waist.  
Usually, Jihoon would be irked to have people’s arms around his waist. He’s still sensitive and reeling, uncomfortable with close touches. Memories would flood back, of familiar aching and rough touches that didn't care for how he felt. That was a sore spot, him trying to swallow back whimpers of pain as faceless people just did what they willed. On his body. 

Not with Jinyoung, though. Jinyoung was different. Jinyoung, who had comforted him past the nightmares and trauma. Jinyoung, who has always done his best for Jihoon. Selfless Jinyoung, who gave up what he loved to do in favor of something practical that would cover the both of them. Selfless Jinyoung, who took the time and effort to hold Jihoon’s broken pieces. 

Not mend Jihoon, because he couldn't. There was only one person who could, still.  
Jihoon thinks back to the week before, when Woojin had asked him a question, one that had him holding his breath. Woojin’s eyes were red-rimmed and voice gravelly from crying. “You would know, Ji. Tell me, if it breaks, does it heal?” 

The Jihoon of months prior would have dismissed the question easily. He would have said something like _no, what’s broken remains broken_. But uncharacteristically, Jihoon had answered something completely different. He had thought back to Jinyoung, who had always welcomed him with a warm gaze and open arms. 

Who waited for Jihoon to come home even when he was exhausted from multiple jobs or emotionally spent from all the scolding during the day. He thought back to a boy who was forced to grow up into a man because he wanted to take care of Jihoon. 

“Slowly. It does.” 

It’s hard to express. Jihoon tries to let his actions do the talking and presses closer to Jinyoung, squeezing him a little tighter. Inside his heart, Jihoon knows Jinyoung could easily leave him. Realizing that Jihoon wasn't worth it. But he trusts Jinyoung, so he closes his eyes and breathes. 

They stay like that for a while, and for a while, both are content. 

 

 

 

 

 

The Bae Revamp Gala, is, by lack of better word, magnificent. Every detail, no matter how minute, is eye-catching. The decorations of gold and maroon, matching the Christmas season, are glorious. The chandeliers -- yes, there are multiple -- glint with every slight tremor. Even to Jihoon’s untrained eye, he sees the hours put into making sure everything looks perfect.

Of course, he and his date for the night do not look misplaced. He is impeccably dressed in a black blazer with white linings, complementing Jinyoung’s black and white ensemble. They’re dressed to the nines, yet both of them are uncomfortable.

Jinyoung just slightly, though. He had grown up in this environment, but felt odd because of how long he had been out of it. He decides to embrace it, in the end, because he knows all the snooty rich bitches would see right through him. 

Here, he was not university graduate Jinyoung Bae. Here, he was Bae Jinyoung, only child and possible next in line of the owners of Bae Industries and the affiliated family group. 

Jihoon doesn't look as uncomfortable as he feels. He’s an actor and has perfected the façade of nonchalance since he was fourteen. It’s no big deal to him. He was here to play the part of pretty boy plus one of Jinyoung, not the best friend. 

They get swept away almost as soon as they step in by a woman who Jihoon assumes is in her forties. Her skin is tight and flawless, however. Jihoon internally attributes it to botox and laser treatments. 

“Jinyoung-ah, it’s been so long since I’ve seen you at these events!” 

Bowing slightly and putting on his signature half-lifted smirk on, Jinyoung says, “It’s great to see you too, Auntie. This is Jihoon, my partner tonight.” The blatant onceover she gives Jihoon makes him want to shudder, but he holds it in. For Jinyoung to make the best impression, he reasons. 

Daehwi comes by and saves Jihoon from any more awkwardness, pulling him away for a dance. It should be weird, Jihoon is used to people ridiculing situations as such-- two men together-- but no one bats an eyelash. The rich must have problems of a bigger scale, Jihoon thinks bitterly. 

He gives Daehwi a grateful smile, and they grab flutes of pink champagne and hang around the side. From here, Jihoon can see Jinyoung getting grilled by his aunt, but the younger doesn't look fazed at all. 

“Is he your fiancé?” The woman asks, not even bothering to make it sound like she’s uninterested. If there was something that hadn't changed about his relatives while he was gone, it was definitely their need for gossip. Jinyoung can't lie, though, so he holds his tongue and shakes his head slightly. “Boyfriend, maybe?” 

“Soon, hopefully.” 

“Is he a prude? He’s gorgeous, I’ve to say. His eyes, his nose -- did he get it done? It’s at such an angle.” 

“Jihoon’s an all-natural, Auntie.” Jinyoung says patiently. He’s glad that the topic had moved on to complimenting Jihoon. 

“Anyway.” His aunt waves her arm with flourish, “I’m glad you’ve gotten over your momentary lapse of judgement and come back to us. I was really disappointed when I heard you were going to pursue _music_ of all the useless things in the world.” Her face is scandalized, and Jinyoung resists the urge to hit her. “I’m glad you’ve regained your senses.” 

He can do nothing but bow and grit his teeth, seething in fury. She places her hand on his arm then leaves, and the touch leaves goosebumps in its wake. He wonders if she hadn't noticed his discomfort at all. He realizes that she probably did, but chose to turn a blind eye and remain blissfully ignorant. 

Typical Bae blood. 

 

 

When he moves to find Jihoon, he spots Jihoon talking tersely with someone he doesn't know. The way Jihoon’s back is hunched forward and has one foot slightly behind the other shows a natural stance of defence, which alarms Jinyoung. 

He gets to where Jihoon is in long strides, dodging all the relatives and acquaintances who want to talk to him now that he’s been restored to possible Heir status. Against his better judgement, he puts his arm over Jihoon’s shoulders, which the man in front of him barely spares a glance towards. 

“Shoulders. So not boyfriend, then.” He stares pointedly at Jinyoung, who tries to maintain his unbothered facial expression. “Cha Eunwoo, son of Cha Applied Materials.” His smirk is one that both Jihoon and Jinyoung want to wipe off, and the next words solidify Jinyoung’ resolve to fuck the guy up. “You know you’re just Jihoon’s latest toy, right?” 

“I’ve known Jihoon since we were in high school,” Jinyoung replies without batting an eye. “Also you must be new here, because you said your company’s name instead of your parents. Rich sons are one thing, but new money sons? Different level of asshole. You’re exhibit A of that stereotype.” 

“And who are you, oh great one?” 

“Bae Jinyoung. Welcome to our party, and you can leave in your red ferrari right now. I usually am kinder to rich fucktards such as yourself, but those who are rude to my guest?” Jinyoung calls out easily, “Security, please escort this man out of the venue. No need a valet for his ferrari.” He snorts, uncaring if he looks unattractive, or if he gathers the attention of many. 

“I’m sure he’s used to getting his car by himself anyway.” The laugh that bubbles out of him is a snobbish one, one that’s foreign to Jihoon’s ears. 

“What’s wrong with my ferrari?” Eunwoo bellows as two guards, who were dressed like guests, hold him firmly. 

“Nothing wrong with it,” Jinyoung says with finality. “Just what it’s compensating for is the issue.” 

His arm slides down from Jihoon’s shoulders to his waist, and Jihoon feels that Jinyoung is truly a presence to him. One that makes him feel steady, stable. A reliable rock, he thinks absentmindedly, when did Jinyoung grow up this much? 

 

 

 

They move up to the second floor of the Bae house once the commotion had simmered down. Jinyoung’s mother had motioned for them to come up, and Jinyoung sits with Jihoon in the tea room. 

“Really nice to meet you, Jihoon-shi,” his mother nods in acknowledgement. For the first time that night, Jihoon had looked fidgety and unsettled, and Jinyoung looks over, puzzled. The older gives a forced smile, leg tapping incessantly, eyes darting around the crowded room. 

“I think Jihoon has to retouch urgently, Mother,” Jinyoung says. He places his hand firmly on Jihoon’s knee, momentarily stopping the rhythm. “You can go first. I’ll wait here.” He looks straight into Jihoon’s eyes, which flood with relief at the open getaway. 

Shooting up, Jihoon bows deeply and smiles widely. “It was an honor meeting you, Madame Bae.” Then he’s gone like the wind, dress shoes hitting the floor and echoing off the walls. 

Jinyoung has no logical reply to his mother’s judgemental look, as if the meeting left a bitter aftertaste. “He’s beautiful, but odd. His taste in clothes is refined, I see. It’s a pass from me, for now. You, on the other hand.” 

The calculating scan from head to toe makes Jinyoung feel like he’s five again, in his first fitting session. “I told you the motif was gold, my son, why did you dress as if you’re off to a funeral?” 

Hanging his head in shame, red colours Jinyoung’s cheeks. He doesn't want this reaction, but it seems in-built in his body to do this whenever his mother reprimands him. “I’m sorry.” 

“Rookie mistake,” she says. Jinyoung bites his lip, knowing that she wanted to treat him like a stranger despite the welcome. “Next time, match our style. That’s the only way you’ll survive. Good job shaming the Cha’s, by the way. They were getting too cocky for me.” 

She lifts her chin in the general direction of where Jihoon left. “Bring him the next event. He got the Cha boy in trouble and got you to do what you usually wouldn't. Good.” Her nod is approving yet condescending, and Jinyoung marvels at how she does it. Truly the woman behind the company. “Goodbye, my dear son. I’ll see you on Monday, correct?” 

Her smile is cat-like, and Jinyoung doesn't meet her eyes but instead bows at a right angle. Then, he’s gone, running to locate Jihoon, realizing late that he hadn't returned from his toilet break. Shit. An uneasy Jihoon who wasn't in his right mind moving unaccompanied in a Bae gala? Trouble. 

 

 

 

Jinyoung runs tirelessly, the trouble Jihoon might be in overriding all sane thoughts. He finds Jihoon standing at a balcony on the third floor of the house. He’s sweating and heaving, breaths escaping in white puffs in the winter air. His first instinct is to still press on Jihoon, make sure he’s okay. 

Jihoon wasn't to get hurt. Not on his watch, not while he holds the power to prevent it. 

“Where were you?” Is the question that doesn't come. Rather, “Why didn't you answer your phone?” is, because Jinyoung knows that Jihoon wouldn't give him a straight answer for the former question. “I called you so many times. I was so worried.” 

“I swear… I swear I saw _him_ , Jinyoung-ah. It was the same built, the same hair color, so I ran and chased him, but as always he was gone before I could hold onto him.” He laughs and it sounds so strained that Jinyoung flinches. “Now I feel so alone. It hurts me so bad.” 

Then it boils down to Jinyoung again. He was nothing but a temporary replacement for someone he could never measure up to. It will be Jinyoung who rocks Jihoon to sleep at night, even til mornings when it gets bad. But it will be that unnamed bastard who Jihoon will want, will look for, will find. Not. Jinyoung. 

And the realization has him reeling, as if physically punched. “Right. I’ll always worry alone. You’ll never consider how I feel.” He chuckles agonizingly, basking in the way the pain and bitterness grips him. That's all he was ever going to be. Inadequate. 

“You hate being alone? You think you’re the only one? When you’re alone…” The _of course I’ll be lonely too_ goes unsaid. The _then what does that make me, right beside you?_ never makes it out of his mouth either. “I know you hate the fact that you’ve been left hanging by someone you love but…” 

_Me too,_ Jinyoung wants to say. He keeps trailing off, knowing that what he wants to say will never leave its blazing mark the way Jihoon’s words stay on his mind. “I want to show you that you’re worth more than what he deserves, but you won't let me.

“And that hurts me more than you looking for someone despite me being here for you.” He turns on his heel, not having the courage to look Jihoon in the face. “I’ll wait for you downstairs in the car.” 

Jinyoung doesn't turn around to spare Jihoon a glance. If he had turned, what would he have seen? The ghost of someone who wasn't there any more still haunting Jihoon? 

No, he would have seen Jihoon crying in anguish at momentarily losing someone he loved. Jinyoung hadn't seen it, but Jihoon did. Jinyoung would never carry it out, too faithful to Jihoon but he knew it anyway.

When Jihoon had called out for someone else, Jinyoung already had one foot out the door.

**Author's Note:**

> tw: bad sexual experiences  
> it isnt explicit but it's hinted that jihoon has trauma over bad experiences during sex 
> 
> // #getridofwritersblock part of a huge au that i might not write but o well. im mad i had 2 lighthearted aus drafted but i wrote this in like one fucking day. kudos & comments greatly appreciated! any mistakes pls lmk!
> 
> happy new year i guess
> 
> as usual twitter [@neomuverymark](twitter.com/neomuverymark) slide into my dms yo


End file.
